Children should be disciplined, but not abused

Just about everyone would agree that children should not be abused. And most adults would agree that children need discipline. Beyond these basic ideas, however, opinions and parenting styles differ. How strict should parents and caregivers be & what kind of discipline works best?
Discipline is not the same as punishment. Instead, discipline has to do more with teaching, and involves teaching your child right from wrong, how to respect the rights of others, which behaviors are acceptable and which are not, with a goal of helping to develop a child who feels secure and loved, is self-confident, self-disciplined and knows how to control his impulses, and who does not get overly frustrated with the normal stresses of everyday life.
Children are not born knowing how to be well behaved. They need help and guidance from parents and other careers - and as all parents know this isn't always an easy job.
Children always learn is by imitating & copying others. This is why parents need to behave in ways which set good examples. It's important that we, as parents, show respect for children - Naturally, children who are shown respect themselves will show respect to others. Although children need to know they are unique individuals, they also need to know they are part of a group too. This is why we need to teach them to share, to listen to others and to take turns.
Important Reminders about Discipline:
• Stay calm and do not get carried away when your child misbehaves. Avoid yelling and screaming, since this can teach your child that it is all right to lose control if you don't get your way. If you feel like things are escalating too much, then take a break until you can regain your composure.
• Avoid too much criticism. Make sure your child understands that it is the misbehavior that you are unhappy with and that you will always love him.
• Avoid too much praise. You don't need to be continuously praising your child, especially for routine activities, because it will make your comments less effective.
• Don't focus on negatives all of the time, especially when offering positive reinforcement. It is much better to say ‘I like that you put all of your clothes away,' instead of saying ‘I like that, for once, you finally got around to putting your clothes away without my asking.'
• Avoid physical punishment. Spanking has never been shown to be more effective than other forms of punishment and will make your child more aggressive and angry.
• Remember to give rewards and praise for good behavior.
• Understand the difference between rewards and bribes. A reward is something your child receives after he has done something, while a bribe is given beforehand, to try and motivate your child to do what you want. Bribes should be avoided.
• Be a good role model.
• Most importantly, provide your child with a safe environment in which he feels secure and loved.
Many parents use physical discipline.
This approach has some problems:
• May work at first because it shocks a child. But it becomes less effective as it is repeated or if it comes with anger and rejection.
• Teaches a child that sometimes it's okay to hurt a person.
• Can cause anger that a child carries with him even as an adult. A child who has received physical punishment again and again is more likely to physically punish his own children or to hit a partner.
• Can easily become abusive. Anger and frustration can cause parents and caregivers to lose control. In one survey, 85 percent of parents said they felt anger, remorse, and turmoil while punishing their children.
Discipline also goes wrong when it involves emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can affect children in many ways. They may become insecure, destructive, angry, or withdrawn. They may even become suicidal. They may not develop basic skills, may have trouble in relationships, and may abuse alcohol or drugs.
What To Do
When punishment is necessary:
• Avoid hitting, yelling, and lecturing
• Enforce rules consistently
• Use timeouts with young children
• Explain punishments and desired behaviors as children get older
Listen, guide, and set limits that are reasonable and fair for older children and teens.